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it was that feeling

an emotion with so many ways to describe it that left it still so unexplainable

that feeling that leaves a beating in your heart that physically aches

an feeling that overflows the emotional heart to a point that it burdens your physical heart

that feeling of wanting to run and fly and do everything beautiful in the world

but at the same time leaves you wanting to just be still and soak it in

that emotion that surges through your chest at the sight of one

the notes of a song

the words on a page

not what they say 

or look like

or sound like

but what they feel like

like water rushing

panting

hungry but never filled

a feeling so absolutely beautiful that it hurts

one that you don't even notice that you feel until you step back

and instantly crave it like air itself

then everything floods in a surge of longing

a feeling that makes you close your eyes

to avoid distraction of what cannot be absolutely

terribly

wonderfully felt

something that can be lost

never stolen

it is always the choice of the one

something that sends tingles through your body

something every author

poet

songwriter

silent soul

has tried to describe

a feeling such that a combination of all the songs

poems

books

stories

thoughts combined cannot fathom

never neat

messy

terrible

painful

beautiful

every color

and sound 

thrown together in one big mess

emotion that makes your heart race

and your mind unable to decide whether to keep up with it

or silently let it run it's course

something that cannot be recreated or imagined

something that changes us 

and can either change with us

or abandon us

something that makes you lose your head

logic

and sense

and makes you think that you would do anything and everything

to make the moment last yet another moment more

it makes our eyes brim with tears

both happy and sad

angry and forgiving

all rolled into one roaring flame

it is a emotion that must break something inside of us

to make room for itself

but even if it leaves 

that piece broken never comes back

the scar it leaves never fades

the scariest thing about it is that it doesn't have to happen

and it can leave a feeling of dread that someday 

it might be there no more

a scared kind of fright that makes you want to try all the more to make it last

despite the consequences

despite the fear

despite everything thing else in the world

only to have that feeling

so you try anyway

no matter what

you try anyway

oh darling

you just have to keep trying

love.